December 17 (actually 20) - December 24

December 20, 5:06am

Laura and Jenny about to perform together at the open mic.

These past couple of days have flown by.  I really don't know if I can remember all that happened from Monday the 17th until today... I know on Monday I woke up later and I spent my morning doing a bit more packing and cleaning up.  My host mom was still sick which was really kind of sad.  After lunch I studied a bit and then went with Jaime to get birthday gifts for Jenny and Laura.  After that I went and watched Sweeney Todd with Adri, and then came home and went to sleep.  Long story short, it was just a good day of quality time with special people.

On Tuesday I was going to have lunch with Pablo as a way to say goodbye but prioritized my last meal with my host family over that.  After, I went with Kassie and Jessica to the winter play/musical/pageant at Colegio Virgen de Gracia (Kassie's colegio) and enjoyed watching the kids there, then went with them to Arriero one more time for a little bit, and then to Jaime's because I had accidentally brought the wrapping paper with me and we had to wrap the gifts still, which we gave to Laura and Jenny later at the open mic at Hannigan's. I performed in a group and also solo, but screwed up a whole lot, but it's okay and it was good practice, and just proved I could do with more practice.

I got home super late and got up early to shower, throw on clothes, bring clothes to change into, and run to my Spanish final.  I did well; Antonio went over my exam right afterward because he likes me that much I guess, and then invited me for coffee, so we went and got coffee and talked for a good hour about random stuff from poetry to the Connecticut school shooting to WWII to the end of the world to grammar.  I'm going to miss him a ton.  After that, I got locked on the first floor of the IES building, which was a little scary, while I was in the bathroom.  After escaping thanks to Jeff, we all went to a cocktail party that lasted like two and a half hours or so and was full of delicious finger food and conversation.  After speeding home and packing the rest of the way, I met up and walked with Omar briefly on my way over to Jaime's to help him get to the tapas location Bella y la Bestia because he wasn't sure which one it was.  A huge group of us hung out and ate tapas and celebrated Jenny and Laura's birthdays and basically just enjoyed a really good time together.  Daniel even passed by!

Me, Daniel, and Jenny, all looking very elegant.

After the tapas, we finally came to my favorite part of the night: dancing one last time.  I danced with so many people and had such a fun time.  I was more or less finally unafraid to ask people to dance with me and enjoy the dance, and met new people.  It was such a whirlwind of fun and also of emotion.  We sprinted afterward to Jaime's car and sped over to the apartments to get our stuff and then to Palacio de Congresos, where we had a super long goodbye session and many besitos and abrazotes and much cariño was exchanged.

Now I'm in the airport, finally about to check in and things like that.  I'm tired and for sure ready to get away from the vast majority of these IES people.  At the same time, slowly saying goodbye to close friends like Jenny is really strange.  I'm all-in-all ready to go home even though I wish I had two more days to rest, and I can't think of a better way to end the time I had in Granada than doing what I did with the people I was with.  I am going to miss them so super much even though right now I'm a bit numb.  I just pray for safety and ease-of-passage on this trip home.

December 22, 6:45pm

Thanks, British Airways, for not telling me anything.

It's been a whirlwind of a past couple of days.  Between having half of the people in our program have their luggage go missing, being completely weirded out at people speaking English everywhere, and it being ridiculously cold, part of me almost wished I had just stayed in Spain.  It's easier to stay where on is rather than to continue moving forward.  It's easier to just stay put than to take that step, that decision, that leap of faith.  But God didn't create us to live subpar lives, and humans aren't meant to just stay sedentary all our lives.  Stay in one country?  Perhaps!  Stay in one spot personal-growth-wise, etc.?  Never.  And it was my time to come back.  Perhaps I shall see you again, Granada.  I miss you already.

My very close friend and non-biological brother Dean took me out for dinner yesterday and I was shocked by the fact that a) people I don't know speak English, and b) the waiters and waitresses are VERY happy slash customer-service-oriented here.  I had gotten so used to having people leave me alone in Spain that to come back and have treatment like that was basically a shock.  So weird!

Today was a very lazy and relaxed day.  I'm not used to this at all.  I miss speaking Spanish and most of my automatic responses yesterday came in Spanish.  I enjoyed being able to play piano again whenever I want, and I did figure out that my luggage should hopefully be shipped to my house in an hour or so.  I look forward to seeing my family on Christmas Eve and also to dedicating my entire Sunday to serving, seeing the Christmas service at Willow SB, and seeing my small group.  I miss people.  I am going to spend the rest of my life missing people.

December 24, 10:45am

Well, this is it: the very last page of my journal that I used throughout all my adventures in Spain.  The pages are starting to fall out, the binding is broken, and the pen I tended to use while writing in it has exploded, all signs of a very noteworthy trip!

I've seen God move in incredible ways on this trip, both small and big.  I've seen Him shine brighter than I've ever thought possible in darkness.  I've underestimated Him and His grace and then come to see how small I am and how big He is.  I've met tons of people who I will always carry in my heart.  I've lived many late nights and early mornings and have thousands of memories and moments that very few, if any, will truly understand fully why they are so funny or precious or impactful or special or heart-wrenching or mind-blowing or just plain all-around weird.  I've hated Spain and I've loved it; I've wanted to escape it and I've wanted to move there.  I've wanted to get impatient with people who don't move out of your way on the sidewalk (in fact, I have) as well as people who let their dogs poop in the middle of those sidewalks (and I have, again, just not to their faces).  I've wanted to hug and give besitos and hug again and give more besitos to people (and in fact, again, I have).  I've wished certain moments would go by faster and that others would never end.  Now here I am in my bedroom, wondering if and when God will lead me to Spain and to Morocco once again while at the same time rejoicing over the opportunity to go back to campus soon and even go back to Costa Rica.  So much travel.  But I love it and I wouldn't exchange it.  :)

So as I end this entry and this journal on Christmas Eve, finally washing all the clothes that were in the suitcase that finally got found and shipped to my house, I thank God from the bottom of my heart and with all my being for everything that has happened this semester, and that I am now home safe with my family for a while.  One thing I'm beginning to realize more and more each day is that nothing ever goes unused by Him, not a single moment, unless you refuse to give it up to Him.  I'm more excited than ever to see what He has in store next and pray that I would be willing to be a part of that!

Signing off with much love,


Ashley

December 9 - December 16

December 9, 11:05pm

I really needed that church service this morning.  I don't think I had felt that refreshed in a long while.  It was so cool and wonderful to get hit with so many coinciding instances again and again and I am just dumbfounded and awestruck and amazed by how big and neverending His grace is for me.  I am humbled.

Cleaning up after playing Extreme Tabú at the coffee shop.

After coming home and a quiet lunch I did my blog like I try to do every week for everyone back home and out of nowhere got an email from Professor Westley about Costa Rica and I am SO excited that she basically confirmed me going back!  But I need to take all of this one thing at a time still!  I have ten more days here and I need to make the most of them.

I went after talking to my parents over skype to hang out with Laura, Jaime, and all of their friends (so Spaniards plus one American) and we all went to this coffee shop where you can play board games!  It was so cool and I wish something like that existed in  the U.S. simply because it's a great venue that attracts tons of people and it's wholesome.

December 10, 11:52pm

I got more sleep last night than recently so I woke up very tired today.  However, I had an enjoyable time at my internship helping my kiddos prepare for their English exam.  I'm trying to instill patience in them...it's hard.  In anthro we talked about integration and multiculturalism, which was all right, and then I rushed home for lunch only to turn around and rush back to Plaza Nueva to get some hardcore work done so I wouldn't be distracted by my own laptop.  I finished my seminar paper and touched up the Spanish paper, so I feel ahead of the game!  I then chatted with Alba, sat through a long review session in my Spanish class, presented my final project with Neda and Jessica, and then waited around Plaza Nueva because I was supposed to spend time with a friend Omar but I missed his call earlier and he probably wanted to tell me he couldn't make it or that I stood him up, I don't know.  It's okay because it allowed me to spend time chatting with Adri and getting to know him better and practice my Spanish with him.  I'm super thankful for his patience and pray for a strong friendship even now that I leave next week.

December 11, 9:41pm

My internship today was full of funny, fantastic, and great times.  I was super proud of Jose Manuel for starting to get the hang of English, of Marta for problem solving her errors, and of Ale Calvo for staying after and working super hard with me on the English phrases.  He has knowledge of some of the more difficult grammar things like the possessive, and other vocabulary.  I learned via Pablo talking with the new intern Támara a lot about some of the back stories of the kids, and I find myself wishing now more than ever that I could stay with them, help them more, and dig deeper into English with them while also supporting them.  I told Pablo there was one point I nearly broke down when Pepe asked me when I was leaving and he was super surprised it was so soon.  During the last hour I met some of the other new interns and had a very fun time with them helping them prepare for a short play they're doing next week.  I hope to see them again before I go.

After a lunch with my host mom and sister Paola, Emi, and my host mom's son and wife, I showered and dashed over to my internship seminar class, then to my Spanish class (where I'm ashamed to admit I basically checked-out in; I'm kind of done with IES...), then to the tetería where I am now with Jenny.  I am going to watch her and Laura at the open mic at Hannigan's and am excited for how that goes for them!

December 13, 9:45am

I was up until 2am writing cards to my kiddos for my last day today so I didn't get to journal, but yesterday was pretty cool.  In my internship when we were in the religion class Ale Calvo asked some really intelligent questions and I was super proud of him!  In fact I'm super proud o all of them, in Cindy's classes they discussed what was good about her teaching and what they like/don't like and how they have each improved and could improve more, and it just made me realize how great each one is.

Our last excursion as a Spanish class.

In anthropology we reviewed and basically finished the movie we were watching, and then I went home for lunch and then went to Hotel Saray to hang out with Daniel a little.  We walked together until Bibramblas since he had a meeting and I wanted to arrive early to IES to have more workspace, and it was just super-blessed time of learning and laughter and my first inside joke between me and someone who lives here.  So thankful for that friendship!

In my last Spanish class we reviewed grammar and then went out to a shwarma place to spend our last hour together as a class before the final exam.  It was kind of sad and with many mixed emotions because Antonio is super awesome.

So, that's about it.  We'll see how today goes!

December 15, 7:00pm

AAAAAAH I haven't written in forever.  I know it's an exaggeration, but still.  Allow me to attempt to recapture my past few days.  Let me start by saying that I am currently chilling with my friend Adri and it's fantastic, even though he's been pulling my leg the whole time.

I love my kiddos!

The last day at my colegio I kept telling myself I wasn't going to cry.  I wasn't planning on it.  I was enjoying my time with my kiddos, helping them and such, when all of a sudden Pablo and the students all surprised me with a couple of posters and cards and they had also brought food and drinks for a fiesta, and I was just completely overwhelmed and couldn't keep myself from crying a little.  They even wanted to do English for an hour and a half instead of our normal 45 minutes, so we sang Jingle Bells and had a spelling bee and took pictures.  It was super emotional, and even when I had to give my final presentation later that day I nearly teared up again trying to present well and still remembering what happened.  After, I went to Kassie's to study anthro with her, then got tapas with Jaime and discussed intellectual things, which was super cool and much needed!

Bar Dakota for the open mic.

Yesterday I spent a full two hours writing my anthropology exam; hopefully it turns out well!  After that, I returned home and relaxed and showered and such, and then walked with Adri since he lives super close to Bar Dakota for the last open mic, where I had the opportunity to recite a poem that I wrote in Spanish an hour beforehand.  Haha!  We all spent like three hours there, and then afterward a group of us went out dancing at Barrio Latino to celebrate and just enjoy the night.  We came back around 4:30am...

So when I woke up today around 11am, nobody was home.  So what do I do when nobody is home?  I did laundry, washed dishes, swept my floor, put on music really loud, danced around, and ate brunch.  I was going to study but got a little sidetracked with organizing my stuff and then just wanted to go spend time outside (it's gotten warmer!), so here I am now at Adri's house chatting and learning and breaking circuits with the heated table and just generally having cultural exchange.

Hopefully later I will go spend time and hang out at the church with Cristian, Jenny, and hopefully others!  I love them all so much and am really, really going to miss these people.

December 16, 3:44pm

Holy cow.  I don't even know.  Last night, first of all, was incredibly blessed and super powerful, and walking back with Cristian and Maru and another girl caused me to realize how much more time I wish I had spent with them.  When I got in, I chatted with Gaby, Mohamed, and Jenny on Facebook and then went to bed around 2am.

When I woke up today I finally started packing and was hit with a wave of mixed feelings.  It reminded me of a poem I analyzed earlier this semester for my Spanish class called "La noche antes del viaje" ("The night before the trip") as well as the poem I wrote a couple days ago.  I nearly broke down... I'm emotionally confused, haha!  But you know what, I think that's a good thing.  It means that this whole experience has impacted me.

Aurora being super fierce.

I went to the IES flamenco show to see Aurora and some other friends perform and am super proud of them!  They did so good!  Part of me wishes I had did that instead of taking anthropology, hahaha!  It looked so fun and super intense.  :)  I also enjoyed walking back with Aurora, Carrie, Kassie, and Jenny, just goofing around and talking and singing Christmas carols loudly and probably looking super strange in front of all these Spaniards, but as I told Maru and Adri yesterday when they mentioned that I'm a little not-normal, being normal is boring.  I like who God made me to be.

December 3 - December 9

December 3, 11:55pm

Yesterday night, Carli, Mario, and I finished our anthro paper finally!  Such a good feeling!  To celebrate, Carli, Jenny, and I went out dancing and we all came back probably a little too late from Granada 10...seeing as we all had classes today.  But it's okay.

I'm a little fed up with anthro, actually.  The class is divided, it feels like, between the people who actually did the project and the people who faked it.  Furthermore, Isabel keeps complaining about all of us not paying attention in class when the reality is that, at least on my part, we are.  I have no clue what she wants from us and she's never given me a concrete answer for that.

Well, in general today has just been a normal day.  I did get tea afterward with Jessica and Kassie and it was nice to just sit there and have Kassie vent and also talk about things that have been on her heart.  I pray that when we go back to school that she, Jessica, and I will all remain close and even grow closer, and also that we grow closer as sisters in Christ.

December 5, 8:50am

Evening time in a pretty section of Zaidín.

I taught a pretty good English class yesterday where a little more than half the class understood what has happening, which is above average.  They have an exam on Monday; I hope that they study.  As of tomorrow I only have a week left with them...WHAT!?  I feel like they're mine; I don't want to leave them!  Seeing Ruben yesterday all bundled up too was the cutest thing ever because he's so ridiculously short.

In seminar a UGR professor came in to talk about the role of women and stereotypes in the media, which was all right, and afterward Ari talked to me about my grade on the mock interview (pretty good), and then I went to Spanish class, which was a rigorous grammar class the whole time.  It was exhausting but worth it in my eyes, no matter how much I may not have been up for it.  Afterward I just went home talking with Jessica and Kassie the whole time, laughing.  I feel good about my work; I'm almost done with all my projects/essays, half a week early, so I'm looking forward to a more-relaxing puente hopefully spent enjoying Granada!

December 6, 7:03pm

Gah, I've been doing awful with this journaling thing lately.  Super sorry.  So, yesterday in a nutshell: New interns came (but they're only here until January) and when one of my girls Carolina asked how long I'd be there and I said I'm leaving the colegio next week, the classroom went dead silent and Caro just exclaims "¡Joder!" (basically a swear word) and we all burst out laughing.  I nearly teared up; she was the first one whose name I learned, and I realized that even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it, I've made a difference in these kids' lives.

Christmas in Plaza Bibramblas.

Later on Kassie and I got coffee together and chatted a ton, and in Spanish class we all went out for churros con chocolate and to see all the Christmas lights turned on finally.  After that, I got tea with Abina and tried to be supportive to her (God has given me a heart for her little by little), and I also exchanged numbers with my favorite worker there so we can get coffee before I leave here.  After that, Jaime, Alberto, Carli and I went and took free salsa lessons from David, and then all five of us bar-hopped (not drinking, just dancing) all night.  I got to talk to David about God and share special moments with everyone.  SO BLESSED!  Aaaah I can't even begin to describe how ecstatically happy I am, how invigorating it is to have such deep and important conversations like that with people at the strangest times and realize that God is doing a work in them, that they too are precious in His sight and matter so flippin' much.  I love people!  Haha!

Today I woke up super late, but finished a draft of my seminar paper (yay!) and also played with my host mom's son's son Hugo when they came over for lunch.  What a cutie pie!  At first he was super shy (like always) but then really opened up to me.  I had such a blast with him.

December 9, 10:00am

Me and Natasha.

Where the heck do I even start.  I had a great Thursday night of sharing time with Natasha and getting to just get excited with her about things God has been doing in our lives and showing us.  After hanging out with her over tapas and computer chess, I walked with Carli (after discovering I had made wrong turns and needed to go back) to go salsa dancing, and we all highly enjoyed it as usual because we learned so much and even got to make new friends like Adri.

Friday I got half my mini-essay done for anthro that we didn't have to start yet because we haven't finished the movie, so I felt very ahead of the game.  That night I went out for tapas with Kassie and Jessica and then went to visit Jaime with Alberto afterward since he said he wasn't feeling good.  We watched a random episode of some sort of hoax-y magic show and I fell asleep on the couch.  You can imagine my panic when I woke up the next morning at 1pm and realized a) I wasn't in my own house, and also b) that nobody had woken me up.  We are supposed to call our host families if for whatever reason we're not coming home that night or not coming home for lunch.  I woke up Jaime and Alberto and told them I was leaving; they drove me instead home.  Obviously, when i got there, my host mom was furious (as any parent would and should be) and basically I was sent ot my room without lunch.  I felt terrible because I knew what I had done was a huge lack of respect for her and also a technical breach of contract.

Left to right: David, Cristian, Zoraya, me, and Carli at CFC.

Later on I tentatively went to spend an hour with Adri to do language exchange for our mutual practice, which was fun, and then I got dinner with Abina, went to the CFC for a going away party and to spend time with my friends there, and then went dancing and learned new steps as well as learned my first chachacha thanks to David (who, sadly, leaved for Madrid tomorrow).

November 26 - December 1 (well, 2)

November 26, 11:45pm

Yesterday evening, Jenny, Carli, and I went with Mario and our two new friends Alberto and Jaime to mass (because the first two are Catholic and the latter is seeking but wants to try new things) and then afterward Jenny, Alberto, Jaime, and I got tapas (empanadas) and had awesome conversation.  After that, we minus Jenny went dancing for an hour and then they walked me home (basically, my bedtime helped keep them accountable for their work days).

Today at my internship the kids got to have a talk by some police officers about the risks of using the Internet and such.  It's good that they have that, even if they weren't horribly interested.  I had class, lunch, and then worked on the anthro final essay with Mario and Carli before going to Spanish class where we debated over animal rights.  Then I walked Mario and Carli to the civic center in Zaidín and went back to my house...all in the lovely rain.  All my stuff is wet.  Oh well!

I've basically decided that I'm going to take full advantage of my last evenings here to build relationships and become better at salsa.  It's so exciting!  Oh, and praise God for the awesome conversation that comes from it!

November 27, 11:53pm

My water bottle from the kiddos!

It was teacher appreciation day today at my internship, so it was awesome because 1) the coffee machine was free all day, 2) there was pound cake, and 3) two of the sixth graders over in ESO came by and were real sweet and gave all the teachers water bottles!  So cute!

Besides the internship (teaching English and working on my anthro final paper), I had seminar and Spanish class.  Both were kind of boring but not terrible.  I think the seminar teacher may not be quite as nice as she appears (then again, who really is?) but that's okay.  The end of the semester is almost here, and really that's the only thing on my mind.  I have ten days left at my internship and 23 left here in Spain...that is, if Iberia doesn't go on strike and leave us all stranded here.

November 29, 9:30am

Jenny and Alberto, November 30.

Yesterday was just weird, haha!  I realized in my internship that in almost three weeks I'd be on a plane back home.  All morning I was just working, going to anthro (where we watched a film that felt like I was watching my own experiences teaching in the classroom!), and trying to keep a control on my emotions and state of mind.  I ended up stopping to converse with the accordion guy on the way home to siesta and also Jocelyn from church, which was fun.  I went to an easy Spanish class where I realized that I struggle in reading out loud, especially when it comes to pronouncing numbers, and then I went to CFC to spend some time at bible study before going out with Jenny to learn some more salsa.  Being a Wednesday night, then environment was pretty different: few people were "experts" so it was nice being able to have the teacher spend more time on certain steps simply so that I could learn more and practice the turns over and over (since it's different in heels).  I met a dance teacher from Madrid randomly and got told I speak like a Granadina.  I think that's good...?

November 30, 10:37am

Aurora and Jenny with the food at Jaime's, December 1.

In my internship yesterday I had a good day with the kids not only in English but also in their physical education class actually.  I told Pablo that I realize more and more on a daily basis that even though teaching isn't for me, that I feel much better prepared now for if and when I need to teach in the future, and plus I love those kiddos.  After coming home and having a quick lunch, I did homework (read: worked on projects with music turned up and dancing around my room like a crazy lady since I was alone at that point in time) and then met up with Kassie to walk to Spanish class together, where we watched the majority of a very risque movie that Antonio said wouldn't be that bad called Belle Epoque.  About halfway through Antonio got up and left to do tutoría with whoever wanted, so at around that point in time the rest of us just talked life and it was nice to just be there with them.

Afterward I got tapas with Jenny, Rorie, and Laura and her friends Juan Antonio and Serigo.  Alex and Abina also showed up later.  The best part was praying with Jenny and Aurora outside our apartments when we got home! :)

December 1, 11:05am

Yesterday/this morning was incredibly awesome.  In the morning I cleaned the apartment and did dishes and ran to the store to pick up toiletries and stuff, then I came home and had great quiet time that I had been missing out on for over a month.  Spending that much time, an hour, in the Bible really analyzing it is super filling for me.  After that I showered and had lunch with Emi, and she made these incredible burgers from ham and I don't even know what else, egg, tomato, lettuce... I had to eat it with a fork.  It was pretty darn tasty.

Rorie and Jenny. I love these girls so much. <3

Afterward Rorie and Jenny came over and we had an amazing time doing homework and laughing and sharing in each other's company; we also had Natasha over and we all ate food together and just had a great bonding time before Jenny, Natasha, and I went out salsa dancing with Abina, Claire, Jaime, Alberto, Jonathan, and Zach.  Jenny, Alberto, Jaime, and I all got to have spiritual conversation which was so awesome because I love hearing about what others believe an why and getting to share a bit of my beliefs, too.  We stayed there until we got kicked out and then all walked home together.

December 2, 12:45pm

Jaime being a goofball, as per usual.

So yesterday after doing homework a little, Daniel came over so that I could do his interview for my project and we ended up spending four hours chilling, talking, having some food, and just enjoying each other's company.  We also had spiritual conversation and I just feel ridiculously blessed because by the time he left (at like 5pm...LOL) the conversation was at a point where we could easily pick up the next time we hang out.

Later after some more homework I made rice and tortillas to take to Jaime's for a dinner we all had after the youth service at CFC.  Basically Jaime, Alberto, Jenny, Rorie, and I had a montón of food and tons of conversation for a good three hours, and after that the guys took me out to go dance a little bit and just share more time together.

I woke up late from having stayed out late, so that feels a little weird.  My game plan is to get as much work done as possible before meeting up with Carli and Mario to work on anthro and go to the service at CFC.  Let's go!