December 17 (actually 20) - December 24

December 20, 5:06am

Laura and Jenny about to perform together at the open mic.

These past couple of days have flown by.  I really don't know if I can remember all that happened from Monday the 17th until today... I know on Monday I woke up later and I spent my morning doing a bit more packing and cleaning up.  My host mom was still sick which was really kind of sad.  After lunch I studied a bit and then went with Jaime to get birthday gifts for Jenny and Laura.  After that I went and watched Sweeney Todd with Adri, and then came home and went to sleep.  Long story short, it was just a good day of quality time with special people.

On Tuesday I was going to have lunch with Pablo as a way to say goodbye but prioritized my last meal with my host family over that.  After, I went with Kassie and Jessica to the winter play/musical/pageant at Colegio Virgen de Gracia (Kassie's colegio) and enjoyed watching the kids there, then went with them to Arriero one more time for a little bit, and then to Jaime's because I had accidentally brought the wrapping paper with me and we had to wrap the gifts still, which we gave to Laura and Jenny later at the open mic at Hannigan's. I performed in a group and also solo, but screwed up a whole lot, but it's okay and it was good practice, and just proved I could do with more practice.

I got home super late and got up early to shower, throw on clothes, bring clothes to change into, and run to my Spanish final.  I did well; Antonio went over my exam right afterward because he likes me that much I guess, and then invited me for coffee, so we went and got coffee and talked for a good hour about random stuff from poetry to the Connecticut school shooting to WWII to the end of the world to grammar.  I'm going to miss him a ton.  After that, I got locked on the first floor of the IES building, which was a little scary, while I was in the bathroom.  After escaping thanks to Jeff, we all went to a cocktail party that lasted like two and a half hours or so and was full of delicious finger food and conversation.  After speeding home and packing the rest of the way, I met up and walked with Omar briefly on my way over to Jaime's to help him get to the tapas location Bella y la Bestia because he wasn't sure which one it was.  A huge group of us hung out and ate tapas and celebrated Jenny and Laura's birthdays and basically just enjoyed a really good time together.  Daniel even passed by!

Me, Daniel, and Jenny, all looking very elegant.

After the tapas, we finally came to my favorite part of the night: dancing one last time.  I danced with so many people and had such a fun time.  I was more or less finally unafraid to ask people to dance with me and enjoy the dance, and met new people.  It was such a whirlwind of fun and also of emotion.  We sprinted afterward to Jaime's car and sped over to the apartments to get our stuff and then to Palacio de Congresos, where we had a super long goodbye session and many besitos and abrazotes and much cariño was exchanged.

Now I'm in the airport, finally about to check in and things like that.  I'm tired and for sure ready to get away from the vast majority of these IES people.  At the same time, slowly saying goodbye to close friends like Jenny is really strange.  I'm all-in-all ready to go home even though I wish I had two more days to rest, and I can't think of a better way to end the time I had in Granada than doing what I did with the people I was with.  I am going to miss them so super much even though right now I'm a bit numb.  I just pray for safety and ease-of-passage on this trip home.

December 22, 6:45pm

Thanks, British Airways, for not telling me anything.

It's been a whirlwind of a past couple of days.  Between having half of the people in our program have their luggage go missing, being completely weirded out at people speaking English everywhere, and it being ridiculously cold, part of me almost wished I had just stayed in Spain.  It's easier to stay where on is rather than to continue moving forward.  It's easier to just stay put than to take that step, that decision, that leap of faith.  But God didn't create us to live subpar lives, and humans aren't meant to just stay sedentary all our lives.  Stay in one country?  Perhaps!  Stay in one spot personal-growth-wise, etc.?  Never.  And it was my time to come back.  Perhaps I shall see you again, Granada.  I miss you already.

My very close friend and non-biological brother Dean took me out for dinner yesterday and I was shocked by the fact that a) people I don't know speak English, and b) the waiters and waitresses are VERY happy slash customer-service-oriented here.  I had gotten so used to having people leave me alone in Spain that to come back and have treatment like that was basically a shock.  So weird!

Today was a very lazy and relaxed day.  I'm not used to this at all.  I miss speaking Spanish and most of my automatic responses yesterday came in Spanish.  I enjoyed being able to play piano again whenever I want, and I did figure out that my luggage should hopefully be shipped to my house in an hour or so.  I look forward to seeing my family on Christmas Eve and also to dedicating my entire Sunday to serving, seeing the Christmas service at Willow SB, and seeing my small group.  I miss people.  I am going to spend the rest of my life missing people.

December 24, 10:45am

Well, this is it: the very last page of my journal that I used throughout all my adventures in Spain.  The pages are starting to fall out, the binding is broken, and the pen I tended to use while writing in it has exploded, all signs of a very noteworthy trip!

I've seen God move in incredible ways on this trip, both small and big.  I've seen Him shine brighter than I've ever thought possible in darkness.  I've underestimated Him and His grace and then come to see how small I am and how big He is.  I've met tons of people who I will always carry in my heart.  I've lived many late nights and early mornings and have thousands of memories and moments that very few, if any, will truly understand fully why they are so funny or precious or impactful or special or heart-wrenching or mind-blowing or just plain all-around weird.  I've hated Spain and I've loved it; I've wanted to escape it and I've wanted to move there.  I've wanted to get impatient with people who don't move out of your way on the sidewalk (in fact, I have) as well as people who let their dogs poop in the middle of those sidewalks (and I have, again, just not to their faces).  I've wanted to hug and give besitos and hug again and give more besitos to people (and in fact, again, I have).  I've wished certain moments would go by faster and that others would never end.  Now here I am in my bedroom, wondering if and when God will lead me to Spain and to Morocco once again while at the same time rejoicing over the opportunity to go back to campus soon and even go back to Costa Rica.  So much travel.  But I love it and I wouldn't exchange it.  :)

So as I end this entry and this journal on Christmas Eve, finally washing all the clothes that were in the suitcase that finally got found and shipped to my house, I thank God from the bottom of my heart and with all my being for everything that has happened this semester, and that I am now home safe with my family for a while.  One thing I'm beginning to realize more and more each day is that nothing ever goes unused by Him, not a single moment, unless you refuse to give it up to Him.  I'm more excited than ever to see what He has in store next and pray that I would be willing to be a part of that!

Signing off with much love,


Ashley